Mind Map

Today is a school day.
In about 7 hours time, 
life in school is gonna to start again.

It's not that I don't like school,
it's just that...I feel it sort of...sad?

This June holiday had been very fulfilling,
with CAP and CCO North China Trip and RGCO camp.

I enjoyed everything.
Especially CAP and CCO.

I really enjoyed days in that 2 occasions.
Everyday was meaningful and carefree.

Not that we have nothing to do at all there,
we have things to do certainly, 
but at least we could have no stress,
no pressure,
no suffocating schedules.

Oh well,
I'm here mourning over school's reopening.

Actually it's not bad to go back and see the friends again,
just that...
yeah,
i don't like stressful life too.
But I can help it too. (shrugged)

Maybe I've indulged myself too much in the camps,
should have do some work to ease my sufferrings now.
Well,
no point mourning about what wasn't done.

I have quite some work to be done,
looking them as a whole just make me fret.
So I shall just work as the concept of doing what's urgent first.
No point looking at them as a whole and fret and waste time anyway,
life still have to continue.

I think it's that incredulous me going around again.
Shouldn't have think too much.
Should have less doubts.
hmm...i think I'm gonna to meditate for 3 hours for because of this too. =  =
I think I've started having doubts on him already,
thus I think I shall learn less about him,
just believe on what I've believed,
yeah,
stop making things complex when they're actually very simple.
That'll make myself less miserable.

I wondered too,
why do i care so much about myself existing in others world.
So what if I don't?
Maybe I don't even exist in my own world,
that's why I can't trust myself,
that's why I can't see myself.

But so what?
I just exist in reality.

I suddenly feel it childish for myself keep saying that I want solitude,
the problem is that, 
social relationship is important if I wanna live in this world.
Except that I've decided to become a hermit or stuff like that.
It's childish to talk about heyy people don't like me,
and start to isolate myself from them,
acting like having tantrum.

Oh yeah,
and i need to heck-care about more things.
I know it's the solution for over-sensitivity.
But...
it's sort of hard,
feelings just stay in my head.
Stuck there I guess.



Learn to live with it then