Mind Map

Im sinking.

_

Somebody talked about if you (somehow?) drive into a lake, you'll have to sink to the bottom of the lake; let all the water floods in, so that pressure in the car can be the same as the surrounding. Then you will be able to open the car door and get out of the car to swim to the surface.

Maybe I on my way to the bottom of the lake.

I haven't open the door.

I was screaming in the car,
now im just hoping that im near the end point.

Let the water flow in.

I'll hold my breathe.

- - -

The blank-out when i held my sticks; i thought i could feel the cold water rushing in.

For every note i play, i thought I could hear her words cutting in.

I know im not competent. (yet?)

I thought i may be trying too hard, maybe it's time to just stop holding my breath and die here.

Tears gathered in my eyes,
blurring my vision.

Can't see the handle to open the door.

I'm scared of the cold water that's going to rush in.
It's going to be so cold that I'm afraid that I'll not be able to tolerate it and just give up.
And perhaps just get drowned in there.

I'm telling myself that i won't. I wont.

'cause I'll always strive on. Right?

I'll always try to be stronger than i am.

"it's damn tough but you're tougher."

How can i forget?

[There's someone knocking on my door, calling my name. I want to just cling onto that someone and cry all my fears out. But.]