Mind Map

Long since I last updated my blog.

And before i knew it,
Im given this downsized graduation ring. -_-

I used to wonder why do Sec4s cry during graduations in my school.
'cause i thought that (almost) everyone is going to the same school next year,
what's there to be so upset about?
It's not as if they're not going to see one another ever again.

But today,
as i stood in the amphitheatre singing (more like trying to sing) our graduation song (trying hard to read the lyrics off the sheet of the paper Lena was holding on her hand that's crossed over my neck) and Dedication and graduation song by Vitamin C,
I didnt know why but memories just started flowing back into my mind very quickly,
they come in flashes of images and short clips, as if viewing some video montage compiled for my memories in this school,
and before i knew it,
tears started to well up in my eyes,
and more and more.

I thought it was a memory overload.
There are just too much memories that i have with this school.
Be it the first time i wore pinafore (I can still recall how Qianwen, my PSL when i was in sec1, was helping me to fold my sleeves), the first time I tried to sing the school song without reference to the lyrics (which was total failure, I could not remember the lyrics for the first few paragraphs. argh), or the first time i got to know the song Dedication (and liked it very much), and how i used to sit on the piano bench with wenyun/koh to listen to them play something nice on the piano, and many many more.
I was overwhelmed by these memories.
And i thought of: will i still get the chance to see how the people around me as how they are now next year?
Will i still get to still see Woon Ki and Shi Tian trying out k-pop dances in front of the mirrors in the ladies' room?

Perhaps not.

I think life in girls' school is really fun.
And I'll definitely miss it more than i thought i would.

This school contains lots of my memories,
much of my growing processes.
I've learnt alot in this short(?) span of 4 years.
I got to experience lots and lots of things that I've never had,
met lots of good friends. 
And i enjoy many moments that I've spent here.
There could have been hard times when I shedded lots of tears,
but there would always be someone (or many many people) coming to comfort me and give me warmth.
(I remember after knowing my results for this year, I was really very disappointed and upset by it, and probably pulled a very long face. Initially i thought no one cared about me and i probably had to deal with this sadness myself. But i was wrong, many words of comfort/encouragement came later on; they filled me up to the brim that I had no more space for that sadness to stay within me)
There were also moments when I was totally laughing my head off.
(For example, teachers' day 2007! BLA was probably the best teachers' day performance that I had ever watched)
There are really lots of laughters and tears here.

These made me I feel sad because I'm going to leave this place and moving on to a new (perhaps not so foreign) place to create even more memorie.
(It's even harder when I think about the school moving campus in a few years' time.)
And I'm prone to witness many changes take place right in front of my eyes, the change may be within me, or with the people around me.

When I was on the bus ride to school,
I kept asking myself,
"why am I so sad? This is definitely not the last time I'm going to take this route or the last time I'm going to the school."
But i guess, it's not about if I'm going to travel on the route again.
I can take the bus 100 times more in future,
but it will never be the same.
I wont be taking it as the identity that I have now.
Perhaps the mood by then will be different too.

But, well, change is the constant in this world.
I guess I just have to experience more of it,
this is definitely not the only one that I'm going to encounter.
There will be many many more.

Till now i still can't believe that I've graduated, 
not to mention I don't even feel like a Sec4 yet,
when it's already over. 

And Im left with photos, Graduation booklet and disk of class videos for me to reminisce in future.